Alumni Questionnaire ← Back to Index
Bethany Leeuw (Beerhorst):
What is your name?
Bethany Leeuw (Beerhorst)
To which institutions were you sent?
Escuela Caribe, Marion
How old were you?
17; I was shipped immediately to the D.R. so that I couldn't sign out before I graduated with a diploma.
When were you enrolled in The Program?
I entered August 1997 and left December 1998.
What was the highest level you attained?
4th level at Escuela Caribe
Please describe the circumstances that got you sent to The Program:
The main concern was issues with my parents. They were extremely controlling and I was always fighting for some independence. I also had some problems with depression and I struggled in school. I drank occasionally and smoked pot a few times. I ran away twice out of complete frustration but only for a matter of hours.
In which house(s) did you live?
Starr, Pitts.
Please describe instances of abuse you experienced while in the program, if any:
Once I realized the seriousness of the program I did all I could to stay out of trouble. I was only on zero level for the first two weeks and didn't form many close relationships with anyone because I found it easier to stay out of trouble that way. So what I am trying to say is that I knew things were happening that weren't right but I was so focused on getting out that I didn't pay much attention to them. Looking back I feel that the environment was abusive for me emotionally. I remember being scared nearly every moment of every day because almost anything was punishable, even honest mistakes.
Describe abuse of other students you witnessed, if any:
I think I covered that in my previous answer.
Do you have any good memories of The Program? If so, what are they?
Food. Food was like a drug to me there, and it still is to this day. Dinner time was often the only part of the day that I looked forward to because it was the most normal. There are housetrips that I remember having fun on. There are a handful of staff who were good to me and I love them to this day.
What is your overall impression of The Program? Did it “help you”?
I think I already had all the basic skills that the program tries to teach; my problem was mainly my home environment/relationships. As soon as I left most of my issues disappeared, and as soon as I returned home to live with my parents they magically appeared again. Maybe if we had spent more time working on our relationship, instead of sending me away to be "fixed" the time would have been better spent. I also wonder if I developed (or worsened) an anxiety disorder while living in the program. Since leaving I have had a number or anxiety attacks and struggle daily with general anxiety.
What do you think of the quality of education you received?
Both teachers I had were smart men, but they only had so much time to give you and the focus of the program was definitely not school.
How old are you today?
26
Did you go to college after attending The Program? If so, what degrees do you have?
Yes, but I never finished. I am about 10 credits short of a psychology degree. I will admit I have never been very focused, but I would love to finish someday.
What is your profession?
Mother; I also work part-time as a receptionist/transcriptionist.
Do you consider yourself a Christian today?
Yes...but weak and confused.
What effect did “The Program” have on your faith?
It surely didn't help anything. I grew up in a strict Christian home and learned all the right things to say, but never learned how to internalize anything. The program was comparable to my home as far as Christianity is concerned. People were happy if I said the right things.
Please feel free to add comments here:
I can see how the program (might) help a kid who never got any good tough love at home. I have had more than my fair share of tough love and what I needed was a professional to work with me on my relationship with my parents. Instead I was convinced I was a bad person and my entire stay at NH felt like a punishment. I still wonder if my parents understand how harsh the program was but to this day we have never been able to discuss it without fighting. We get along great now, but nothing that the program did helped that. The only reason I don't harbor intense bitterness towards the program is because there were some staff/students there that helped me survive it.
